For years, you knew you were different, but you never had a name for it. Then came an autism diagnosis—finally, answers. But instead of clarity, self-doubt crept in. “What if I’m not really autistic?” This struggle with imposter syndrome is common, and you’re not alone. Many also experience anxiety and depression, making it even harder to trust their own experiences.
What Is Imposter Syndrome in?
Impostor syndrome in autism occurs when an autistic individual doubts the validity of their diagnosis or feels like they do not belong in the autistic community. They may worry that they are “not autistic enough” or that they are faking their symptoms, even when a professional has confirmed their diagnosis.
This struggle often happens to autistic individuals without intellectual disabilities, as they may not fit common misconceptions about autism. Their ability to mask or camouflage their traits can make them feel like outsiders, leading to persistent self-doubt.
Why Do Autistic Individuals Experience Imposter Syndrome?
Several factors contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome in autistic individuals. Understanding these causes can help parents and caregivers provide the right support.
Camouflaging Behaviors
Many autistic individuals learn to mask their natural behaviors to fit in. They mimic social cues, suppress stimming, and force eye contact to avoid standing out. While this helps them navigate social situations, it can create a disconnect between their true selves and the person they present to the world. Over time, this can lead to deep feelings of inauthenticity.
External Doubts from Others
When family members, teachers, or even doctors express skepticism about a diagnosis, it can fuel imposter syndrome. Comments like, “You don’t seem autistic,” or “Are you sure?” can make an individual second-guess their own experiences.
Late Diagnosis
Many autistic individuals are diagnosed in adulthood, especially women and those who are high-masking. A delayed diagnosis can bring relief but also confusion. They may wonder how they went so long without realizing they were autistic, leading to doubts about whether the diagnosis is accurate.
Difficulty Fitting into Social Groups
Autistic individuals may struggle to find a sense of belonging, even among other autistic people. Differences in personality, sensory needs, or communication styles can create feelings of alienation, reinforcing the idea that they don’t fit in anywhere.
The Emotional Impact of Autistic Imposter Syndrome
Feeling like a fraud in your own identity can take a toll on mental health. Autistic individuals with imposter syndrome often experience:
Anxiety and Self-Doubt
Constantly questioning oneself can create anxiety, making everyday interactions more stressful. Individuals may overanalyze their behaviors, wondering if they are “doing autism wrong” or if others will “find them out.”
Fear of Vulnerability
Autistic individuals with AIS may avoid asking for accommodations or support because they feel like they don’t deserve them. They might worry that others will accuse them of exaggerating their struggles.
Isolation and Loneliness
When someone feels like they don’t belong, they may withdraw from both neurotypical and autistic communities. This can lead to loneliness and a lack of support when they need it most.
Low Self-Esteem
Repeated feelings of inauthenticity can lead to negative self-perception. An individual may feel like they are not good enough in social, academic, or professional settings, even when they are thriving.
Coping Strategies: How to Support Your Child
As a parent or caregiver, you play a crucial role in helping your child navigate imposter syndrome and autism. Here are some strategies to encourage self-acceptance and confidence.
1. Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know that doubting oneself is normal and that many autistic individuals feel this way. Assure them that they are not alone in their experiences. Instead of dismissing their concerns, acknowledge them with statements like, “I understand why you feel that way, but your experiences are real.”
2. Educate About Autism and Neurodiversity
Help your child learn about the wide range of autistic experiences. Show them that autism presents differently in everyone and that there is no single “right” way to be autistic. Books, documentaries, and autistic-led resources can reinforce this understanding.
3. Encourage Self-Reflection
Journaling or making lists of experiences that align with autism can help individuals see patterns and validate their diagnosis. Looking back on childhood behaviors, sensory preferences, or past struggles can reinforce their identity.
4. Connect with the Autistic Community
Support networks, online forums, and neurodivergent spaces can help your child meet others who share similar experiences. Engaging with the autistic community can provide reassurance that they are not alone in their feelings.
5. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Encourage your child to challenge their doubts with logic. If they think, “Maybe I’m just making this up,” they can ask themselves, “Would I willingly struggle with sensory issues, social confusion, and anxiety? Would I pretend to feel this way if it made life harder?”
6. Reduce the Need for Masking
Create an environment where your child feels safe being themselves. Allow them to stim, express their emotions, and communicate in ways that feel natural to them. The less they feel the need to hide, the more authentic they will feel in their identity.
Know That You Belong
Autistic individuals struggling with imposter syndrome need to hear this often: You are enough. Autism does not have a specific look, personality, or skill level. It is a spectrum of experiences, and every autistic individual belongs exactly as they are.
As parents and caregivers, you can help your child embrace their identity, find community, and overcome self-doubt. By fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding, you empower them to live authentically and confidently.
If your child is struggling with imposter syndrome and autism, remember that support is available. At A Better Way ABA, we provide compassionate, individualized ABA therapy in NYC to help children build confidence, develop essential skills, and thrive. Contact us today to learn how we can help your child embrace their strengths and reach their full potential.
Sources:
