How To Make Friends As An Autistic Person

how to make friends as an autistic person

Making friends can be a challenge for everyone, but it can feel even more daunting if you’re autistic. Social interactions can often be overwhelming or confusing, and it can be difficult to know where to start. But don’t worry, it’s possible to build meaningful friendships even if you’re autistic.

Challenges for Autistic Individuals

Autistic individuals face unique challenges when it comes to making friends. Two key challenges they often encounter are the fear of vulnerability and social anxiety associated with social skills.

Fear of Vulnerability

Vulnerability, defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, can be particularly challenging. Expressing emotions and interpreting social cues can be difficult, leading to a fear of being vulnerable. This fear may stem from previous negative experiences or a lack of understanding of social expectations.

To overcome this challenge, it is essential to create a safe and supportive environment that encourages open communication. Building trust gradually and providing reassurance can help autistic individuals feel more comfortable expressing themselves and forming deeper connections with others.

Social Anxiety and Social Skills

Social anxiety and difficulties with social skills are common challenges for individuals with autism. The fear of judgment or rejection can make it difficult to initiate friendships. Additionally, autistic individuals may struggle with understanding nonverbal cues, making social interactions more challenging.

To address these challenges, there are several strategies that can be employed. Managing anxiety through techniques such as deep breathing exercises can help individuals feel more at ease in social situations. Setting realistic expectations can also alleviate anxiety and build confidence.

Tips for Making Friends

Making friends can be a rewarding experience for individuals on the autism spectrum. However, it can also come with its challenges. Here are some tips to help autistic individuals navigate the process of making friends:

Managing Anxiety

Managing anxiety is a crucial first step in making friends. Initiating conversations can be challenging, but practicing these skills in environments where common interests are shared can be beneficial. By gradually exposing oneself to social situations, individuals can build confidence and reduce anxiety.

Initiating Conversations

Initiating conversations is a key aspect of making friends. While it may feel daunting, there are strategies that can make it easier. Here are some tips to consider:

  • Set realistic expectations: Recognize that not every interaction will result in an instant friendship. Building relationships takes time and effort.
  • Learn how to initiate conversations: Start with simple greetings or comments related to the shared environment or interests. For example, complimenting someone on their shirt or asking about a hobby they enjoy.
  • Practice mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment can help reduce anxiety and improve social interactions. Focus on the person you are talking to and actively listen to what they are saying.
  • Ask open-ended questions: Open-ended questions encourage more detailed responses and can lead to deeper conversations. Instead of asking yes or no questions, try asking questions that require more thought and elaboration.
  • Offer validation: Show interest and empathy by acknowledging and validating the thoughts and feelings of others. This can help create a sense of connection and foster meaningful interactions.

Joining Social Skills Groups

Joining a social skills group can be a valuable step for individuals with autism who want to improve their ability to make and maintain friendships. These groups provide a supportive environment with peers who are facing similar challenges. Through structured activities and guidance from trained professionals, individuals can practice social skills, such as active listening and nonverbal communication.

Qualities of a Good Friend for Autistic Individuals

One must also understand that a good friend is someone who accepts you for who you are and values your unique qualities. They are there to share in your experiences, provide support during challenging times, and celebrate your successes. Some qualities to look for in a good friend include:

how to make friends as an autistic person

Importance of Similar Interests

Shared interests play a vital role in building and strengthening friendships, including for individuals with autism. Finding someone who enjoys the same activities, hobbies, or subjects can create a foundation for connection and understanding. When you have similar interests, it becomes easier to spend time together.

Having shared interests also provides opportunities for collaboration and mutual enjoyment. Whether it’s a shared passion for art, music, sports, or a particular topic, common interests allow for meaningful interactions and shared experiences. These shared experiences can create opportunities for deeper connections.

Friendship Success Stories

Forming and maintaining friendships can be a rewarding experience for autistic individuals. While it may present unique challenges, there are success stories that demonstrate the positive impact of friendships on the lives of autistic individuals. 

Autistic Friendships

Autistic people overwhelmingly report their desire for friendships and have the capacity to form meaningful connections with both neurotypical and autistic peers. It is important to recognize that their interactions may look different from those among neurotypical individuals. Autistic friendships often focus on shared interests and understanding, allowing for a deeper level of connection.

Conversations between autistic friends may have more peaks and troughs, shifting from moments of intense connection to periods of disconnection. These dynamics are a natural part of autistic friendships and should be embraced as valuable and meaningful. Autistic individuals also often find it easier to establish synchrony and understanding in friendships with other autistic individuals.

Experimental Programs

Experimental programs designed to support autistic individuals in building relationships have shown promising results. These programs create opportunities for connection and friendship experiences through tailored activities. By utilizing activities such as theater, social-skills games, and recreational groups, these programs provide a supportive and inclusive environment for autistic individuals to connect with others.

Theater programs, for example, offer a creative outlet that allows autistic individuals to express themselves and build social skills in a structured setting. Social-skills games provide a fun and interactive way for autistic individuals to practice essential social interaction skills while engaging in enjoyable activities. Recreational groups, tailored to the specific interests of autistic individuals, create opportunities for shared experiences and connections based on mutual hobbies or passions.

These experimental programs have demonstrated success in fostering friendships among autistic individuals. Through them, autistic individuals have the opportunity to experience the joys of genuine connections. By fostering an understanding of the social lives of autistic individuals, we can create an inclusive environment that supports the diverse friendships that autistic individuals can form.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism services in New York and how A Better Way ABA can help your child build friendships, contact us today! Our experienced ABA therapists are dedicated to providing high-quality, individualized care that helps autistic children develop essential social skills and thrive. We believe that every child deserves the opportunity to have meaningful friendships.

Sources:

https://opendoorstherapy.com/making-friends-when-youre-on-the-autism-spectrum/

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/making-friends.html

https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/how-people-with-autism-forge-friendships/

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